just shoot me

I dunno why i feel so fucking messed up right now.. I've a lot of shit going on in my mind.. Should I let him go? I really can't find anything for him anymore.. And I'm just not happy with him anymore.. And I've a feeling I won't be.. And I have many reasons for that.. sadly having things in common just isn't enough after all..

Just talked to Kim.. she said i should. I agree too.. I'll have to tell him.. guess this girl's going to be single again *sigh* Jun's songs are making me feel emo-er ha ha. I love Through This Song! Please compose more!

SPRING FEST [thank yeu]

I don't have the videos or pictures yet.. will upload when i get them but i've a feeling i'll see them on facebook :S

erm mine was 6th.. and omg i did something so so stupid! I cried! I cired cuz i was freaking nervous and i didn't wanna do it but i must admit wehn i went onstage (there wasn't really a stage) i loved it! Thanks to Jun Yeu at least i didn't screw up the Stupid for You song but Gimme More i kinds screwed my fave part towards the end cuz i was so nervous. Chris was like, "Your fingers are like ice cold!" [not my fault]

I admit Jun Yeu is like the best partner! He takes practices so seriosuly and he's talented, very.. he put the practice vids on his blog ack...

Anyways it was really awesome. the performances were like 19325832 times better than Autumn and i got to try something totally different from my usual emo songs. yes thank you Jun Yeu for that..

oh yes Chris thinks Jun Yeu is good looking and JunYeu is interested in Chris too. Kor, you got a date for prom already! go ask him! ha ha will get vids and pics from Haur wey and nicole tomorrow

susah nak marah dgn dia :)

feels just down below the dirt

sighh i felt so freaking depressed a few hours ago i was crying to myself. i was so depressed i couldn't sleep. Joyce told me to blog to release tension but after talking on msn to my best mate back in M'sia Lizzie, Jon my fave online mate in Dubai and my fave cousin Kel in the UK and of course my cayang. Usually i prefer just being alone or jsut talking to a few certain people.

I'm so blessed to have people like you. nicky you loved me unconditionally, you love me like no mortal can and you love me for me. And no matter how much we fight you always manage to melt my ickle heart back and when there's something wrong with me that even i don't know, you never give up and you help me find out my problem and fix it. You've done a lot for me and still you feel it isn't enough, you'd really give up your life for me. My mum would say i'm stupid for believing that and normally i don't believe these things either but when it comes to you i just.. i do believe you. I don't want anyone else but you. You've won my heart completely and i believe in fate that eventhough my parents don't accept you at least your parents finally accept me and your cousins. My sis and my cousin accepts you too. I just wish the people that are suppose to be most important to me would think the same.. i love you Nicky..

Lizzie Lizzie i lvoe you girl!  despite being almost 2 years away from you, your still one of my best friends. I miss all my other girls; Sue, Michelle, Alan, Shak.. sigh... My girls make me feel so missed back in Malaysia. I miss my lil sis too but she's busy with her PMR and she's not allowed to call me.. how evil! Lizzie you always make me smile. Thanks so much girlie! Throughout all these years i'm so happy to still be able to call you my best friend. I can't wait to see you in December babe! Pls pls make my stay in Malaysia worth while :S you know what i mean...

Jon is just lush! I swear he's so metro and random (he calls it civilised) and erm i think well mannered and well dressed ha ha. He says and does the randomest things to make me laugh. He's almost 30. i repeat ALMOST! Thanks for the laughs and the pictures Jonnie!! you keep acting my age ya hear! he he. pls come to Malaysia!! Liz, Lisa and I will be thrilled to meet you. 3 girls awaiting yr arrival how good can life be for you sweetie! he he.

Kel!! My fave cousin and the closest one to me, who sadly is in UK which is where i wanted to go. I know yr having the time of yr life in Manchester. I'm really happy for you koko. Thank you for being here to talk to me about everything. You know how my family is to me esp my mum. You know your auntie la haha. I agree with what he said and i know my mum's liek that and i have to accept tht becuase she is still my mum.. *chokes* but he understands my 'culture' wearing black and piercings and tattoo and all, he just told me to hang in there. I'm hanging till i'm 21! I love you Kel!! hope you continue enjoying Manchester. I'm coming for you soon.. i hope.. ha ha

thank you God for giving me such beautiful people to balnce out the uglies in my life ha ha. They love me for who i am and deal with my bad sides and help guide me through life.. muaxx!!!

new hair

ok not really anything much... i just bleached it and ooh ooh Lisa!! I used your picture as an example. As in i wanted like yours just the bottom part but i'm scared they wouldn't know what i meant so i showed your ebautiful Lisa <3 Tiffany sign photo and woo now it's beautifully bleached and i bought 2 temporary colours red hot chilli and raspberry purple. thye're lush i'll probs keep the blonde until i get bored then i'll use the temporary hair colours. he he i love my hair!!

I still need to camwhore some more though.. okay the third one is so la la and last one was just  DAMN random shot i don't normally pose like that... I SWEAR! *points Stephanie the nail artist did my nails for me omg they are so japanese now! wtf is happening to me?

Oh yeah and i went to Vic Mart and i saw this cute bag, pink with white cute skulls that my baby sis would love for sure! I snagged it off for her quick! I got a better prezzie fro you this time Kimy cub!

OMG I so hope i get to be a photographer in the yearbook committee!!! Me and Haur Wey actually i want us BOTH in!

Final note: I'm okay again. i was really sad today cause of Nick's medical condition but then we called each otehr, we took turns calling actually he knew how worried i was and he called me up to play me a song and then we went on talking for around 2 hours plus... the only time both of us ever stop talking to each otehr is wehn eiteher i konk out to dreamland or when we're out of credit.. yeah it's so sad i know.. It's so cool how we're almost 6 months and yet we act like a couple who were only together for two weeks when the feeling is at it's strongest. ILYN!!